This is a treatise on the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. It is an objective analysis that I've published here in case it's useful to others. My focus is on personal relationships and how they work in as objective and practical terms possible. I broke the subject down into the three sections below.
Contents:
- Direct communication
-- includes video
Saying what you mean literally and plainly is the most effective way to commuincate in cooperative relationships. The alternative, indirect communication, is designed to manipulate others or defend one's self (such as sarcasm, name calling, or defensiveness). You can be direct effectively even if others are not.
- Relationship contracts
The expectations each person in a relationship has about the behavior or performance of the other forms a type of "contract" (although it's not usually thought of that way). The terms of the contract in each person's head can be determined by what they count on their parter to do, or not do. Contracts (or expectations) that match the reality of the other person's behavior are less frustrating than expectations that go unmet.
- Emotional intimacy
-- includes video
Emotional intimacy is the peak experience of being loved in a personal relationship. It occurs when we open up to someone, become vulnerable, and they understand how we feel and empathize. It brings people closer emotionally, and makes them feel better about themselves. Such intimacy occurs when specific, but difficult, steps are followed by two people, working together.
Basic beliefs
This perspective of relationships is based on some general assumptions:
- People are basically good (lovable);
- People are social animals with social needs;
- Human emotions are not bad; all people have feelings, it's how we handle them that's important;
- Unmet social needs cause loneliness and isolation, which is inherently stressful and unpleasant;
- Fulfilling our social needs results in feeling close to others, feeling loved, and being happy;
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